VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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