in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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