wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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