Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize