Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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