my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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