Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
