I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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