he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
