just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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