I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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