i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
