She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Four minutes until I can fart!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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