i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize