I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
