Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
