yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
