Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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