How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
