She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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