Don't you send me to vm
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize