what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
