she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
