Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize