Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
