Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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