i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize