oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
