my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
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You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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