she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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