Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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