I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
