Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize