Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
