My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
