it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
