The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
