Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
