All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
