I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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