how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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