make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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