I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
