I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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