hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
