you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
