yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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