Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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