so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm drive I can fine osifer
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
