I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
