Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Text me some of your sweat
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