Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize