Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize