I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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