just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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