tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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