About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
