i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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